The Inevitable Question
by LadyWallace
Summary: Thorin finds himself in a quandary when faced with a rather…er…awkward question and two inquisitive nephews. Fluff, adorable dwarflings, and Awkward Thorin.


**I decided to take a break from the angst of my story "Only in Our Nightmares" and write a fluff for everyone this weekend. This one was requested by AnastaziaDanielle in which Fili and Kili are watching baby chicks hatch and just have to ask poor Uncle Thorin where babies come from ;) I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you all enjoy it too, as well as Thorin's explanation :P **

**As always, don't own the characters, sadly...**

The Inevitable Question

A Hobbit Fanfic

Thorin supposed it was inevitable he would be faced with the question some day. Well, in all honesty, he really hoped it would pop up under Dis' watch and he wouldn't have to deal with it at all. But, as was his luck, it happened to pop up under his, and he had been completely without a good answer for it.

It started out as a normal day in spring, and he was watching out for the boys for a few hours while Dis saw to errands in the market. The boys had recently acquired a few chickens in the back yard. Dis had thought it would be a good idea to let them take care of a few chickens to learn responsibility. But as it was spring, one of the hens had gotten it into her head that she was going to hatch her eggs instead of letting the boys collect them, and she had been so grumpy about letting them anywhere near her that they had left them, excited by the thought of having some baby chicks running around to play with. Thorin had been worried the eggs might not hatch at all, but sure enough, on that afternoon, Fili and Kili had come running in from playing outside and announced that the eggs were hatching.

"Come on, Unca Forin!" Kili said excitedly, tugging on Thorin's hand so hard that he had to follow or he feared his fingers would be torn from their sockets.

"I'm coming!" he said with a chuckle as he jogged out with the boys to the chicken pen.

Sure enough, there was mamma hen looking proudly down at the slightly cracked egg sitting in the nest, rocking slightly. The two dwarflings stood with their faces pressed against the wire, jumping excitedly.

"How long will it take for the chick to come out, Uncle?" Fili asked, looking over his shoulder at Thorin.

"It might take a while, Fili," he said, crouching down and putting his arms around both boys. "It takes a lot of work for them to get out of their eggs."

"Did I have to get out of an egg when I was a chick, Unca?" Kili asked with a confused expression as he turned to look at Thorin with wide eyes.

Thorin laughed lightly. "No, Kili, you aren't a chick, you are a dwarf. Only birds and fish and reptiles come out of eggs."

"Oh," Kili said and turned back to watch the chick hatch, before he turned around again. "How they get into the eggs?"

"Um…" Thorin began, realizing he was getting into dangerous territory. "It's a bit confusing." Stupid answer! He knew that wasn't going to stave off curious dwarflings. Sure enough, both Kili and Fili turned around to face him now, no longer interested in the baby chick, their eyes wide in anticipation. Thorin refrained from sighing. He knew he was in trouble now, and had only himself to blame.

"How do they get into the eggs, Uncle?" Fili asked. "And why do they have to stay there so long?"

"Well…" Thorin said, frantically searching for some inspiration. "Er, well, you see, when there get to be less chickens in the world—or less of any other kind of animal—the forest spirits come and put babies into the animal's eggs. But they have to grow inside of them for a while before they get to be big, just like you, and when they're ready to come out, they break open the shell."

"So that's why the eggs Mummy makes for breffest doesn't have chickies in it?" Kili asked.

"Right," Thorin told him with a firm nod, thinking this would be the end of it. "Because the forest spirits haven't put baby chicks in them."

They were silent for a long moment, processing the information, and Thorin was about to breathe a sigh of relief when Fili spoke up again.

"But, Uncle," he said with confusion. "I remember before Kili was born. Mummy got really fat, and she told me that Kili was in her tummy. How'd he get in there?"

"Did the forest sp'rits put me in Mummy like the eggs?" Kili asked, wide-eyed.

Thorin wanted to cover his face with his hands. He had really dug himself into a hole this time. He did some more frantic thinking and finally smiled. "No, forest spirits only give animals babies. When a dwarf, or a human, or an elf wants a baby, they have to…they have to do a magic spell."

Fili and Kili leaned closer to him. "What kind of magic spell, Uncle?" Fili asked.

Thorin kept the smile plastered on his face. "Well, it takes both a mommy and a daddy to cast the spell. And it's a very long and complicated process with…herbs and…incantations." He was rambling now. He hoped that would appease them.

"Why does it need a mommy and a daddy?" Fili asked.

Thorin shrugged. "I don't know. That's just how the spell was made."

"Is that why you don't has a baby, Unca Forin?" Kili asked. "Cause there's no mommy?"

"That's right, Kili," Thorin said, glad they at least seemed to be buying the story. "So I can't…er…cast the spell."

"So the spell puts the baby inside the mommy?" Fili asked with a frown. "Why?"

"So it can grow, like the chicks in the eggs," Thorin said.

"Then why don't we have eggs too, and why is it only mommies that can have babies?"

"I don't know, Fili," Thorin said. "That's just how it is."

"How did Kili get out of Mummy then, if she didn't lay an egg?" Fili continued.

"A healer had to come and say the special spell to get Kili out," Thorin told him.

"I don't remember it," Kili said with his face scrunched up in concentration as he tried to remember.

"No one does," Thorin said, shaking his head. "You're too young to remember."

"Can you tell us the spell then?" Kili asked him.

Thorin shook his head. "I don't know it. Only mommies know it."

"Then how does the daddy help the mommy make the spell for the baby?" Fili asked.

"I guess the mommy tells him what to do," Thorin said quickly, hoping to end the conversation right now. Thankfully, he happened to look into the chicken pen again and saw that the chick had finally managed to crack away most of the egg. "Look boys! Your baby chick is nearly done!"

They spun back around and Thorin breathed a sigh of relief, as their attention was once again captivated by the little chick making its way into the world.

Half an hour later, Dis came back with her basket full from the market and smiled as she spotted her brother and two sons in the backyard.

"What's going on here?" she asked and the boys spun around to run to her, grabbing her skirt and nearly making her drop the basket.

"Mummy, the chickies is hatching!" Kili exclaimed excitedly.

"They are?" Dis asked with a smile as she went over to the pen at the bidding of her eager boys and took a peek, seeing one little chick completely out of the egg and two others on the way.

"How nice! Now you'll have some little babies to play with," she said. "I brought you back something for a snack. Would you like to come inside for a while and eat it? Then you can come back out and see how the babies are doing."

They ran inside and Thorin followed Dis, almost having forgotten about the conversation earlier. But just as Kili and Fili sat down at the table with the little cakes Dis had brought them, the youngest turned to her with wide eyes and said.

"Mummy, can you tell us the spell on how to make babies?"

"What dear?" Dis asked with a frown, as Thorin groaned under his breath and hid in the corner, burying his face in his hand.

Fili piped up. "Uncle Thorin was telling us about the spell to make babies, and he said that he didn't know it because he wasn't a mommy and only mommies know it, but they have to have daddies to help them. Because it's not like with animals who are given to their mommies by the forest spirits."

Thorin clapped his other hand to his reddening face, just knowing that Dis was fighting a smile as she watched her two earnest boys ask their questions with the height of solemnity.

"Well, I'm afraid I can't tell you dears, it's a secret only for mommies to know. You'll have to wait until you're older and find one of your own," she said.

"What's wrong wif Unca Forin?" Kili asked suddenly.

"He's just tired, dear," Dis said. "Now, if you've finished your snacks, why don't you run back out and watch the baby chicks."

They left in a flurry and only then did Thorin emerge from behind his hands to find his sister grinning at him with her hands on her hips. He scowled at her.

"Really Thorin—forest spirits and spells? You couldn't have thought of anything better?"

He continued to glower. "It had to be me, didn't it? Why couldn't it have been you?"

Dis smirked. "Well, at least I don't have to deal with it now. But you do realize this is going to come back and bite you when they learn the truth?"

"They surely will have forgotten by then," Thorin said without conviction.

"Oh, I don't know," Dis said with a laugh. "Those two don't forget anything. Look at it this way; at least they'll have a lovely story to tell their own children when faced with the same question."

Thorin groaned again and shook his head. It never failed. He might have been a warrior and been able to fight in bloody battles, but yet, he always seemed to make a fool of himself when it came to his nephews. He shook his head, a fond smile finding its way to his lips all the same. Even if it was embarrassing, he would never give those boys up for the world.


End file.
